Loneliness in the Digital Age: How It's Killing You and What to Do about It

Loneliness is a common experience in the digital age. It can be easy to feel like we are the only ones who are feeling this way, but you are not alone. Numerous individuals have voiced their experiences of loneliness, and a recent survey indicates that approximately 6% of individuals aged 15 and above have grappled with loneliness for the majority or the entirety of the past month.

You may possess an extensive list of friends on your Facebook account, receive numerous online birthday greetings, and get many compliments and likes on your latest Instagram selfies. However, the internal sensation of loneliness remains undeniable.

This phenomenon exemplifies the paradox of loneliness: as despite living in an era often hailed as the pinnacle of social connectivity, we find ourselves more isolated than ever as we struggle to forge meaningful connections with others. This pervasive loneliness is not only detrimental to our well-being but it can have life-threatening consequences as well.

What is Loneliness?
Loneliness is a multifaceted emotion, compounded by the fact that some individuals can experience isolation despite being surrounded by friends and family, while others may not sense it, even if they live in solitude. It isn't contingent on external circumstances, but rather on our internal cognitive processes, that is, on how we perceive ourselves emotionally.

Loneliness can be defined as a distressing sensation resulting from an unfulfilled social need for significant connections. While it is often viewed as a byproduct of other health issues, loneliness is a significant concern in its own right. It contributes to deteriorating health and ultimately heightens our mortality risk.

This assertion is substantiated by research conducted by American psychologists, who have uncovered a startling revelation: Social isolation carries the same health hazards as smoking 15 cigarettes daily and is a stronger predictor of premature death than the consequences of air pollution or physical inactivity. That means preventing loneliness is in fact, the cornerstone for averting other severe illnesses.

Assisting and Harming
Nevertheless, not all forms of loneliness carry negative connotations. Loneliness can have positive aspects as it propels us toward social connection, as per the insights of experts. Consider the first day at a new school, a new job, or relocating to a different city.

Without experiencing loneliness, we might lack the motivation to establish new relationships. We all yearn for meaningful connections with others; for individuals, we can place trust and cultivate reciprocal bonds, and the sensation of loneliness catalyzes the pursuit of such connections.

However, when loneliness persists over an extended period, it can have detrimental effects. Although there is no fixed timeframe for this, it's the point where a cycle of negativity begins, leading you to perceive the world as a menacing and unsafe environment.

This constitutes unhealthy loneliness because it impairs your ability to distinguish between beneficial and detrimental. Individuals commonly struggle with health issues such as heightened anxiety and stress levels in this state.

Loneliness Among Youth
We often link loneliness with solitude and tend to believe it primarily afflicts older adults, but the reality paints a different picture. Worldwide, the highest levels of loneliness are observed among individuals aged between 15 to 24 years old. Surveys also indicate that within this age bracket, approximately 167,000 individuals have experienced loneliness within the past month.

Loneliness isn't determined by the company you keep but by how you perceive yourself and your interactions with others. Despite the presence of peers, young people may not necessarily establish meaningful connections.

This trend has garnered support from research experts, who have noted a rising prevalence of loneliness among those in their twenties compared to older generations, with technology playing a significant role.

More Technology = Less Connection
The paradox of our modern era lies in increased technological connectivity coinciding with a rise in loneliness and an absence of meaningful relationships. This phenomenon is especially pronounced among young people.

Experts believe that many youths construct an online persona, continually adapting it to fit the evolving demands of the digital world while comparing themselves to others. This pattern leads to self-doubt, feelings of insecurity, and diminished self-esteem. Technology undoubtedly possesses the potential to profoundly impact people's lives by facilitating connections that might otherwise remain unattainable.

Nevertheless, it should not be a substitute for personal, meaningful relationships. Problems arise when technology is used with the misguided assumption that it can replace genuine, substantial human connections, and that is a role for which it still needs to be designed.

Then Came Covid-19
Covid-19 has significantly influenced the prevalence of loneliness, thrusting isolation and depression into the spotlight. The pandemic has wrought a separation among people and significantly reduced physical interactions, often relegating us to virtual engagements. Throughout the lockdown, emotions of frustration, isolation, and weariness became increasingly common.

A post-lockdown survey examining levels of loneliness has revealed that the figures remained distressingly high. Prolonged loneliness surged from affecting 5% of the adult population before lockdown to 12% during the lockdown phase, only marginally receding to 10% post-lockdown.

Specific demographic groups, including young individuals, single parents, and the unemployed, were more prone to reporting persistent feelings of loneliness, with some experiencing it most or even all the time.

What Are the Indicators?
Experts emphasize that loneliness can be adeptly concealed, making it difficult to detect for extended periods. Nevertheless, there are certain signs loved ones can watch out for.

Early warning signals often manifest as low self-esteem and a noticeable lack of motivation. Typically, an individual begins to withdraw, reducing their interactions and engagement with others compared to their previous levels of social activity. While they may physically attend social gatherings, they exhibit emotional detachment.

Loneliness is a cognitive state characterized by many adverse beliefs that reinforce this emotional state. These beliefs often include feelings of insignificance, invisibility, unlovability, unworthiness, and the perception that others do not care about them.

It can also give rise to mental health challenges, disturbances in eating and sleep patterns, and the development of addictions such as excessive gaming, drug use, or alcohol consumption. These behaviors can serve as substitutes for genuine connections and function as a means to numb the negative emotions associated with loneliness.

Addressing Loneliness
Loneliness carries a certain stigma, which means that few individuals tend to openly admit to feeling lonely, as it exposes vulnerability and is often misconstrued as a personal failing. However, we all experience loneliness at some point, and we must take proactive steps to effect change. Here are some practical strategies for combating loneliness:

● Emotional Awareness:
The first step towards combating loneliness is to begin by acknowledging your loneliness and understand that you don’t need to remain in this state.

● Initiate Connections:
Take the first step in meeting new people, engaging in conversations, and establishing connections, regardless of how small they may seem. Simple gestures like chatting with your regular barista, greeting people in shops, or getting to know your neighbors can make a significant difference.

● Monitor Screen Time:
Keep a close eye on how much time you spend on your phone and identify which apps are consuming your time and joy. Consider using an app vault to restrict your access to these time-consuming culprits.

● Consider Small Adjustments:
Make incremental changes in your daily routine, and try spending less time on your digital devices and more time meeting with people you care about.

● Get Therapeutic Support:
If needed, consider getting therapy as a means to be seen and heard. It can act as a rehearsal for expressing your feelings in the real world.

Final Thoughts
When dealing with loneliness in the digital age, we need to pay attention to its impact and acknowledge that it can and will kill us. Therefore, we should always appreciate the importance of developing meaningful connections.

Our social and emotional bonds are not mere luxuries but fundamental to our survival. True connections with others can alleviate feelings of loneliness, enhance our overall well-being, and increase our chances of leading a longer and healthier life.